New
Arrivals
Author-Angie Malecka
Titles
A Lonely Star
by Angie Malecka
Summary: A sad Blair thinks he doesn't care...he is wrong...
Warnings: One bad word, I guess...and I'm not a native English speaker so sorry for all the mistakes:)
Disclaimer: The guys belong to Pet Fly, UPN and Paramount. Lyrics from Phil Collin’s song ‘Look through my eyes’ belong to Walt Disney Music Company and Phil Collins. No copyright infringement intended.
There are things in life you’ll learn and
In time you’ll see
‘Couse out there somewhere
It’s all waiting
If you keep believing
Blair stood alone on the balcony, looking at the great big city of Cascade. It was another long, non-stop day. He woke up, ran to the university for his morning classes, worked a couple of hours at the library, digging through lots of books...and hardly finding what he needed for the classes he had to teach, then he ran home to grab some lunch, which hadn’t satisfied his hunger at all, returned to the U to give three lectures...on which his sudents seemed to be sleeping rather deeply...
He was exhausted...He sighed, breathing in the cold october air, trying to fill his tightened lungs to their extreme...He closed his eyes against the pain building in his chest...he felt as if he had done nothing at all...nothing good....nothing...That everything was in vain...had no sense...that everything was...was fruitless...He felt as if he had done everything he could...but nobody cared about that, about his work and all the sacrifices he had made. There will be times on this journey All you see is darkness
Out there somewhere daylight finds you
If you keep believing...
Phil Collin’s voice filtered through the balcony semi-closed doors.’Believing?’ Blair asked himself...’Believing in what...that tomorrow I’ll have to do it all over again? Has it got any sense? I’m so tired...I feel fucking alone...’
So don’t run, don’t hide
It will be all right
You’ll see, trust me
I’ll be there watching over you
Suddenly a pair of strong like iron arms came to rest on his shoulders. He jumped, scared out of his mind.
‘Easy, Chief...just me’ he heard a deep voice ‘Did I scare you?’ Blair shook his head. He was too tired to think, too tired to act, someone could simply grab him and kill him...and he wouldn’t even react.
‘Had a buisy day?’
Busy day??? Jim, you have no idea...
‘Yeah, kind off...’ came the quite response. Blair was surprised to hear his own voice. He could talk...well that was definitely some improvement.
But Jim knew...Jim understood... The kid was strong, stronger than most people the detective knew in his life. And he was ready to give so much to others, not asking for anything in return, not waiting for anything...but...still...in some far corner of his aching heart...WANTING something...wanting attention...wanting care...longing for someone who would be intetrested...who would ask him how was his day...if he was tired...if he was sad...if he needed anything...for someone who would like him...not for what he did...but for who he was...someone who would love him...yes...love him, simply love him.
And this time Jim wanted to understand Blair, to feel what the kid felt, and to give him what he needed. He was the Sentinel...he was...most important...Blair’s Sentinel...He wanted to just close the kid at the loft and keep him far far away from the world, from all the hurt...from everything...He could not...Still...Jim knew there was something he could do...he could hold Blair close, keep him warm...keep him safe...and make sure Sandburg knew...knew that he was protected...loved more than a father would his child, that there was one boring detective who cared for that young anthropologist.
He wrapped his arms around Blair and held on, resting his chin on the kid’s shoulder. Nothing more he could do...but yet...it was so much.
Blair rested against the strong chest of his friend and sighed, looking up at the sky...at the thousands and thousands of stars...it seemed like every star was alone...Blair frowned...no...the stars were not alone, they had a companion, right beside them...just like him...
‘I don’t care...’ he wishpered, as if to the sky.
‘About what, Chief?’ asked Jim, not even surprised by the statement.
‘I don’t care that my students never listen...I don’t care that again I haven’t found anything at the library...I don’t care about anything any more...’
‘Hey, you still do care about me, don’t you?’ smiled Jim.
Blair chuckled, of course he did, always, forever.
‘Yeah, big guy, I do.’
‘Then what’s wrong, huh? You care about me, I care about you, isn’t that enough to survive one day from hell? Chief?’
Blair felt a wave of warmth spread across his chest, his heart suddenly filled up with an unnamed emotion.
‘Yeah...I guess it is...’
‘Good’ said Jim and tightened his arms gently.
Blair rested his hand over one strong arm that was wraped around him, and tiled his head back to rest it against Jim’s shoulder. Their eyes looked up at a pair of stars.
Phil Collins kept singing...
So don’t run, don’t hide
It will be all right
You’ll see, trust me
I’ll be there watching over you
And Blair knew Jim always would.
Fin:)