New
Arrivals
Author-Laura Picken
Titles
Revelations
by Laura
Picken
Summary: William Ellison's deathbed confession threatens to either tear the Ellison family apart, or bring them together in ways they could have never imagined.
Hi all! I first came up with this concept a while ago, when I was sitting in a Science and Theory of Evolution (or something like that, I don't remember the name of the class) class and they were doing a lesson on genetics. If I say any more then I'll give the plot away, so I won't. Initially, I got the idea before Remembrance, but that ep only helped solidify the ideas more. In fact, timeline- wise, consider this story to be exactly one year after all the events in Remembrance (which, in case you're wondering, is a year (in my timeline) before Blair gets his Ph.D. and meets Sharon, so no, she won't be in this story).
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, I just want to mess with their relationship for a while. All hail Pet Fly for coming up with such a great concept and set of characters. Now if only they'd hire a decent writer... *g* Many thanks to my 'gang', Danae, Cindy Combs and DL Witherspoon (a couple of whom took a crack at this even though it wasn't the type of stuff they normally like to read - now -that's- friendship) for beta reading this for me. They made this story a lot better than it would have been otherwise.
SMARM WARNING AHEAD!
Anyway, on with the show...
Jim looked up at the white pillars and let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. His eyes spoke of pain, anger, hurt, and regret. Blair looked over at the older man and squeezed his shoulder in empathy. He asked his friend, "You gonna be okay, Jim?"
The Sentinel looked over to Blair and was able to manage a small smile. "I'll get through it, Chief. It's just hard to think about."
"I can imagine." In truth, though, he couldn't -begin- to understand the pain Jim was going through, and he knew it. How could you just sit there and hold someone's hand while they died? Especially when that someone was your father. True, many cultures did it, but that didn't make the idea any more palatable to him. Slinging his duffel bag over his shoulder, he made sure to hand Jim his suitcase, then asked, "You ready to go in?"
Steeling his resolve, Jim nodded, and picked up the suitcase. Opening the door to his childhood home, he was reassured by Blair's presence behind him as he was greeted with a hug by Sally, the old housekeeper who still kept the house spotless and was one of the few people still loyal to his father. His heart softened as always by Sally's loving presence, Jim wondered how she could always be so warm in a place that, to him, had always felt so cold. When she broke the embrace, he asked her, "How are you holding up, Sally?"
Sally waved off the comment, "Oh, you know me, Jimmy. As long as the house is clean I'm happy." Her tone turning serious, she then told him, "You know your father will be glad you could come."
Still fighting off the emotions, Jim could only nod. This had come on so fast. He still didn't know if he could reconcile everything with his father before... "How is he, Sally?"
"He's resting right now. He should be awake in a couple of hours or so. The cancer has taken all of his energy," replied Sally, shaking her head. It was clear that this was something she didn't like to dwell on much. "He doesn't have much time left." Finding a convenient means to change the subject standing just behind her 'adopted' son, she turned to Blair and greeted him, "But where are my manners? It's nice to finally meet you, Mr. Sandburg."
Lovingly, he came up to Sally and grabbed her hand, wanting to offer some sort of reassurance to the grieving woman but uncomfortable with just how to respond. "Please, call me Blair. And it's good to meet you, too, Sally. Jim's told me quite a bit about you."
Nodding her head in response, she opened the door wider to allow the two men to get their things through. "Well come in, come in! I have rooms upstairs ready for you. Steven will be coming tomorrow. He's off in Singapore somewhere closing a business deal. It was the first flight he could get back."
Thanking Sally, the two men walked into the entryway and set their bags down. Blair looked around at the living room and dining room, the hairs on the back of his neck involuntarily standing on end. The house always reminded him of one of those exhibits at the Metropolitan Museum - resembling the warmth of an old country home but never quite allowing itself to actually -be- a home. It was discomforting, and made Blair feel like he needed to be on his 'best behavior'. One glance at Jim told Blair that he felt very much the same way-- and this had been his home. The whole thing gave him the urge to call his mother...
The two men started to bring their bags upstairs when Sally stopped them. Quietly she urged them, "There's plenty of time for that, you two. Now come into the kitchen and catch up with an old woman. I have some chocolate chip cookies waiting."
Setting the bags down, Jim and Blair followed Sally to the kitchen, relaxing immediately as they sat down to the small table. In complete contrast to the rest of the house, Blair could tell that the kitchen was Sally's domain, for it spoke to him of warmth and light. It was probably the most comfortable room in the house. Setting down a warm plate of cookies and two tall glasses of milk, Sally began, "So how are things at the police station? Last I heard you had an alligator crawling through the building..."
*****
A loud buzzer interrupted the quiet conversation, causing the Sentinel to briefly wince at the uncomfortable noise. Smiling as she remembered a precocious three-year-old with the same problem, Sally squeezed Jim's shoulder sympathetically as she told the two men, "It's your father, Jimmy. He's awake, and just wants to let me know."
Instantly Jim tensed, in anticipation of what was to come. Sensing this, Blair asked, "Are you okay, Jim?"
Drawing in a deep breath, then letting it out slowly, Jim replied, "I'll be fine, Chief. Maybe you should bring the bags up to our rooms?"
Nodding his agreement, both men got up from the table, automatically placing their glasses and the now-empty cookie plate in the sink. Each one drawing strength from the other's presence, Blair grabbed the bags and quickly followed Jim up the stairs.
*****
[He looks so frail,] thought Jim. The doctors had warned him that since the cancer had spread to his digestive system, he would lose weight rapidly toward the end, but that didn't make it any easier to see the man who had once been so strong now look like a strong wind could blow him away. It was only because of his Sentinel hearing that he was able to hear, "Hello, Jimmy. You're looking good."
Shifting uncomfortably, Jim made his way over to his father's side, and the chair that Sally had left for him. "Hello, Dad. How are you feeling?"
Tilting his head with some effort toward the IV that hung next to his bed, William replied, "My doctor prescribed a morphine drip so I could control the medication when I needed it. It helps." Bringing his head back so he could look at his son, he didn't mince words, getting straight to the point. "Jim, there's something I need you to check out for me. There's something I need to know before I..."
Neither man wanting to hear the other one mention death, Jim cut him off, asking, "What is it, Dad?"
With great effort, William replied, "I never told you why your mother left, did I, Jimmy?" As Jim shook his head, his father continued, "When you were six and your brother was four, I had an affair. It wasn't a long-term thing; we only knew each other for a couple of weeks, but your mother found out. She left me soon after that."
Jim sat back in the chair, completely in shock. With the amount of fighting he remembered hearing between his parents, he shouldn't have been surprised at something like that, but it still didn't change the fact that his father had cheated on his mother. And that left another question... "Why are you telling me this now, Dad?"
"The woman I had an affair with. I need you to find her."
Now Jim was not only shocked, he was confused as well. "Why?"
"Eight months after our last night together, I saw her in a department store when I was shopping for something for my anniversary with your mother. She was pregnant. I need to know if that child is mine."
By this point, Jim was close to losing it completely. First finding out his father had had an affair, now finding out he might have an illegitimate half-sibling as well? Trying to contain the conflicting emotions that were, even now, vying for control of his conscience, Jim asked, "What was the woman's name, Dad?"
"Naomi. Naomi Sandburg."
Jim felt the color drain from his face, and found that he was suddenly having trouble breathing. Laying a hand on his father's arm to steady himself, he blurted out, "Excuse me...I think I need some air," and ran out of the room.
Blair couldn't help but notice the front door slam behind his friend even as he was talking to Sally in the kitchen. Quickly excusing himself, he ran after the older man, only to find him sitting on the front bumper of the truck. One look told Blair that Jim wasn't zoned, just...stunned. Like he'd just received the shock of his life. "Jim? What's going on?"
Jim turned to see his friend standing next to him. His half-brother...could it really be possible? Staring briefly at the younger man, he realized for the first time how much the color of Blair's eyes mirrored his own...
Whatever it was that was bothering Jim, -something- had finally caught his attention to the point where he had zoned. Laying a hand on his Sentinel's elbow, Blair coaxed him, "Jim...Jim, man, come back..."
Shaking himself out of the zone-out, Jim realized what he needed to do. "Chief, I need you to do me two favors."
Confused, Blair asked, "Sure. What?"
"First, do you have a number where I can contact your mother?"
Blair shook his head. "She's on a pilgrimage to Mecca. No one will be able to reach her for another month or so. Why?"
Jim sighed. This was going to be the tough part. "I need you to go down to Joe Rockwell's office and ask him to do a blood workup on you."
More confused than ever, Blair's eyes widened when he asked, "Excuse me? What's going on, Jim?"
[I guess I have to tell him,] thought Jim. [He has a right to know, anyway.] "Blair, my father just told me that he and my mother split up because he had had an affair."
Any questions Blair might have had about the blood workup were quickly forgotten, overridden by his concerns for his friend. [So -that's- what has him so upset...] Blair commented, "Man, that's got to be rough."
"It gets worse, Chief. He thinks the woman might have been pregnant when she left him. He wants to find the woman so he can know if the child is his."
Eyes widening again, Blair put two and two together. [An affair that left a woman pregnant and alone...Oh. My. God.]
As Blair sat down next to Jim, the older man finally admitted, "Yeah, Chief. It's seems my father's on that list of candidates to be your father, as well."
Blair was in complete shock. Standing up again, he started to pace back and forth in front of the truck. Automatically reverting back to his role as a guide, Blair started to rattle off..."It can't be possible. A Sentinel's abilities are genetic. That means that -I- would have those abilities, too. Unless the dominant characteristics of the gene produce a Sentinel and the recessive characteristics produce a...oh man, it -is- possible..." Sitting next to Jim, he leaned his head back against the metal grate and cursed himself for not having done a more exhaustive study of guides. He didn't have anything to compare this to. Burton only said that a guide was some sort of Shaman or wise man for the tribe. He never said anything about whether or not the guide and his Sentinel were actually -related-. His mind running on a reserve that -only- came out in times of great crisis, Blair asked, "You have the keys to the truck, Jim?"
Weakly, Jim grabbed onto his guide's hand and carefully placed the keys in it. Both men got up from their seats to allow Blair to leave. As Jim made his way up to the curb, he called over to his partner, "Be careful, Chief."
"I will, Jim. What are you going to do?"
"I'll probably take a walk. I need to clear my head before I go in there again."
Blair agreed, "Sounds like a good idea. What should I tell Joe to compare the blood against?"
"He has a blood sample of mine from a case a couple months back. Tell him to use that and let us know if the two samples are from blood-related individuals."
"He's going to suspect something's up when he's testing our two blood samples against each other."
"Joe learned long ago not to ask questions when it came to the two of us," replied Jim.
In return, Blair laughed, commenting, "You have a point there." Getting into the truck, the younger man called to his Sentinel, "Just don't get into trouble without me, all right?"
Jim found a laugh escaping his lips in return. "Shouldn't I be saying the same to you?"
*****
Blair had used Jim's cell phone to call ahead, so the junior ME would be waiting for him when he arrived, all the testing equipment prepped and ready.
Every time he thought about it, he still found it hard to believe. Jim? His half- brother? The thought was almost surreal. Sure, they had been close friends almost from the beginning, but... The possibilities were staggering to think about. What did this mean for his dissertation? The chances of him being objective in his study were almost impossible now. And what would this mean on the job? Laughing, Blair realized, "Well, at least Jim won't have to lie and use that stupid cousin line again..."
He thought back to the point when they first met. The uptight, angry, in-your- face cop that had thrown him against the wall was definitely -not- someone he would have wanted to be related to at the time. But, his passion for his subject and his desperation at not wanting to let the first living Sentinel he had ever met slip through this fingers kept him from simply dropping the guy completely.
And yet, over time, they had proven themselves to each other. Saving each other's lives time and time again. First working together, then living together, their relationship built from one of tolerance, to respect, to close friendship. They were partners in the best sense of the word. Friends who would, and had on repeated occasions, put their lives on the line for one another. So, whatever the results of these tests, Blair was certain -that- aspect of their relationship would never change.
But could Jim handle it if he found out they -were- brothers? He was sure it wouldn't change -their- relationship, but how would it effect his relationship with his other brother, Steven? And what about their father? Jim already had to forgive his father for so many things, starting with forcing Jim to repress his Sentinel abilities as a child. Could he forgive his father for the affair that split up his parents' marriage? Even if his guide was the result of that affair?
And what about his -own- mother? He tried to picture stodgy, uptight William Ellison in a passionate embrace with free-spirited Naomi. The more he thought about it, the more he laughed. William Ellison must have been going through some -serious- things to have had an affair with a woman so unlike himself. Blair's thoughts darkened for a moment. What would Naomi think about seeing him again?
The screeching of tires and the honking of horns snapped him out of his wayward thoughts and into stone cold reality. He couldn't get out of the way of the car traveling the wrong way in his lane, and the last sounds he remembered were of the metal and glass of the truck collapsing around him. Idly, he wondered if the emergency room techs would remember to take a sample of his blood as he slipped into peaceful, painless oblivion...
*****
The front door closed behind Jim with a painfully loud clap in the tense quiet of the entryway. It had only been half an hour, so he knew his guide couldn't have returned from the ME's office yet. Even though he had been able to get a message through to Naomi in Colorado, he didn't have the strength yet to face his father - of that much he was certain. So, following an old instinct, he wandered back to the kitchen, only to find Sally sitting at the table with his younger brother. Surprised, he asked, "Hi Steven! You're back early? Sally had said you wouldn't get in until tomorrow."
"The airline was able to bump me up to an earlier flight," Steven replied solemnly.
It was only then that he noticed the looks of apprehension on both Steven and Sally's faces. "Sally? What's wrong?"
Both people at the table shifted uncomfortably. Steeling himself to deliver the news, Steven looked up at Jim from the table and told him, "Jim, your captain just called. There's been an accident."
"An accident?" repeated Jim. A lump caught in his throat as he realized, "Blair?"
Steven nodded. "He's going to be okay, Jim. Simon said the doctors should be releasing him in an hour or so."
Impulsively, Jim blurted out, "I have to go..." Then, as he took two steps away from the table and toward the door, he realized where he was and his entire reason for being here. Looking up to the ceiling, he wondered what he should do.
As always, Sally's mothering instincts kicked in, and she took charge of the situation. "Go check on your friend, Jimmy," she directed, "Have Stevie drive you. I'll let your father know what's going on."
Relieved, Jim responded gratefully, "Thank you, Sally. We'll be back soon." Then, nodding Steven toward the car, he encouraged, "C'mon Steven. Let's go."
*****
The first thing Blair noticed as he came out of unconsciousness was the noise. Everything around him seemed to be in some state of chaos. As he tried to focus in on -something- within the chaos, he started to recognize medical jargon. Memories of screeching metal came back to him with annoying clarity, and he realized he must be in the Emergency Room. A voice cut through the chaos as his eyes started to blink rapidly, trying to adjust to the bright, harsh lighting. "Mr. Sandburg? Can you hear me?"
"Yeah, I can hear you," groaned Blair.
"Do you know where you are?"
"In an emergency room...again." His eyes adjusted to the light, and he noticed a young, dark-haired male doctor sitting next to him. [This kid can't be much older than I am...] His eyes darted around the room. Jim was usually here when he woke up from these type of things...
As if on cue, the doctor informed him, "We contacted Captain Banks, Mr. Sandburg. He said they'd get in touch with--"
"Blair!" called out a familiar voice from the waiting area. Turning his head to hear who called his name, Blair smiled. Jim was late, but he was here. That was all that mattered.
The young man then frowned as he watched Jim being pushed toward the waiting area by a forceful nurse who was trying to tell him, "You can't go in there, Sir. I'm afraid you're just going to have to wait out here until the doctor can see you..."
Seeing the commotion, and recognizing the man causing the commotion as the detective who had been called for his patient, the doctor went up to the front and instructed the nurse, "It's all right, Marian. I sent for Detective Ellison. Blair's his partner. Gentlemen, I'm Dr. Nicholas McPherson--I've been treating Mr. Sandburg. If you'll come with me, please."
Marian looked at the two large gentlemen in front of her with more than a little skepticism. But, since the doctor seemed to have everything well in hand, she let the two men by.
The minute Jim was able to get out of Marian's clutches, he moved with incredible speed to his partner's side. As the doctor and Steven caught up to him, they heard him ask, "Blair? What happened?"
Wearily, Blair replied, "I guess I got too caught up in the possibilities of having brothers. Next thing I knew I was staring down the grill of a minivan. Sorry, Jim."
Instead the anger Blair thought was coming, Jim simply responded sympathetically, "It's ok, Chief. I'm just glad you're all right. I'm using the Volvo the next time we end up in a high-speed car chase, though."
Blair groaned. "Great. We'll be taking the bus to headquarters within a month."
Steven watched the exchange between Jim and his partner, amazed and just a tiny bit jealous. There aren't many people who would brush off their truck being totaled, unless it were by family or...he immediately shook off that thought. [Jim? Not a chance in hell. And what was Blair talking about, about the possibilities of having brothers?]
Jim then turned his attention to the doctor, who was standing just behind Steven. "How's he doing, Doc?"
Apparently, all of the rumors he had heard about this pair were true, from what he had just seen. Definitely not lovers, but as close as any two family members you'd ever see. Dr. McPherson had thought the third guy would be a tall black man, though. The identity of this new guy was definitely something he'd want to figure out. Another little tidbit to add to the legend of Ellison and Sandburg... Realizing that the two men were still looking to him for information, Dr. McPherson replied, "Well, your friend was incredibly lucky, Detective. He has nothing worse than a concussion, which is why he was out cold when he came in here. From what I understand, you have no problem taking care of that?" Jim nodded, and Dr. McPherson continued, "Very well, then. You can take him home." Turning to his legendary patient he then warned, "Just remember to keep your mind on the road next time, Mr. Sandburg?"
His voice somewhat stronger, Blair replied, "Yes, Sir."
Laughing at someone nearly his own age calling him "Sir", the doctor moved away to get Sandburg's release papers when a hand on his arm stopped him. Turning around, he realized the hand belonged to the detective. "Is there something else, Detective Ellison?"
Jim's face went from an expression of relief to one of apprehension in a heartbeat. Sensing the other man's hesitation, Dr. McPherson encouraged him, "Is it something about Mr. Sandburg?"
Jim nodded. "Did you draw his blood?"
Dr. McPherson nodded, the confusion evident on his face. "It's standard procedure for car accidents. We have to determine blood alcohol level. Is that a problem?"
The look on Jim's face grew even more uncomfortable. "Is there any way you could do run a full blood workup and analysis on it for me?"
Dr. McPherson grew even more confused. "Sure. I've run them before, but why? Is Mr. Sandburg in some kind of trouble?"
Jim shook his head. "No, not at all. Let me explain." Trying to come up with a creative explanation as to why they would need to run a test of his own blood against Sandburg's, he did what his partner would have done in the situation. He obfuscated. But only slightly. "Mr. Sandburg is a Graduate Anthropology researcher at Rainier. It would be a great help in his research if you could do a comparison of his blood with a control sample."
[Anthropology? The doctors in ICU told me Sandburg was a cop!] Absolutely bewildered by this point, Dr. McPherson responded, "I'd be happy to help Mr. Sandburg in his research. You realize, though, that this won't be covered under his insurance..."
Jim reassured him, "I'll take care of the expenses. When can we expect the results?"
"When can I get the control sample?"
"Tomorrow."
"Then one week from tomorrow. I'll put a rush on it." [If only to satisfy my own curiosity...]
Jim sighed in relief. "Great. Thank you, doctor."
Dr. McPherson simply shrugged in response. "Hey, anything in the name of research." [Besides, any new information I can get would be worth the time. And maybe some money...wonder if the nurses in ICU are up for a betting pool on -this- one...] Handing Jim a business card, Dr. McPherson continued, "Here is my office address and phone number. Feel free to drop the control sample off any time tomorrow."
While Dr. McPherson walked to the desk to get Blair's discharge papers and Jim turned around to go check on his partner, Steven turned back toward Blair, confused. He had followed behind his brother until he realized Jim wanted a private conversation, and even then he was close enough to the conversation to overhear just about everything. The bewilderment on his face was unmistakable. [I thought Blair was a cop. An -anthropologist-? And it sounds like Jim's pretty heavily involved in his research to be able to remember to make a request like that when Blair's just been in an accident. What in God's name is going on here?]
*****
Even though Sandburg had been released less than an hour after Jim and Steven had gotten to the hospital, it wasn't soon enough for the Sentinel. Jim hated being in hospitals--hated going to them when he was sick, and - especially- hated going to them when his partner was hurt. But, Blair was okay, they had made arrangements for those all-important blood tests, and they were going home. Where, Jim just realized, he was now going to have to tell his father that his best friend could very well be the son that the older man had wondered about all these years. Pushing the anthropologist's wheelchair out the emergency room doors to Steven's waiting Lexus, Jim let out a slight groan, the feeling of dread threatening to overwhelm him.
Sensing the change that had come over his friend's attitude, Blair pushed himself out of the wheelchair and slowly sat down in the back seat of the car. Turning to look up at the older man, Blair asked, "Jim? What's up, man?"
"Yeah, I'd like to know that myself," encouraged Steven, who had just come up from behind Jim. "What's going on here, Jim? Why'd you ask that doctor to run extra tests on Blair's blood?"
The surprise on Blair's face couldn't be hidden. "Jim, you didn't..."
"Well, we need to -know-, don't we? And he agreed to do it and get us the results back in a week. Even Joe would've taken at least that long."
Steven refused to let go of this until he got the information he was looking for. "You need to know -what-, Jim? Are you going to tell me what's going on here?"
Jim looked to Blair for unspoken permission and advice as to how to handle the situation. Blair replied, "You know, he has a right to know, Jim. This affects him, too."
Jim sighed deeply. Blair was right, that much he knew; so how was he going to tell this to Steven? It wasn't like he took the news well when he first heard it. Turning to face his impatiently waiting little brother, he compromised, "All right, but it's really not my place to tell you, it's Dad's. If you'll just get in and take us home, we'll go upstairs and he can tell you." Curtly, Steven nodded. He could wait a few more minutes to find out.
Relieved that -he- didn't have to be the one to break the news to Steven, Jim got in the passenger side of the car and buckled himself in for the quiet ride back to the house.
*****
Sally was waiting at the front door when the three men arrived: first Steven, then Jim with Blair leaning on his arm for support. As she ushered her two 'sons' in, her attention quickly focused on the injured man. "Blair, are you all right? What did the doctors say?"
Catching his breath as he leaned against one of the pillars outside the house, Blair replied, "I'm fine, Sally. Just a little tired right now."
Now in full-blown 'mother-hen' mode, Sally immediately ordered, "Well, then, let's get you inside right away. I'll set you up all nice and comfortable on the couch while the boys have a visit with their father."
Jim winced at Sally's last statement, but only Blair noticed it as Sally swooped in and took over. Laughing in an attempt to relieve the tension between Jim and Steven, Blair commented, "Gee, now I know where you get it from, Jim."
Picking up on what his friend was trying to do, Jim warned Sally, "Be careful how well you treat him, Sally. You may never get him to leave." His tone turning serious, Jim bent down to look straight into the eyes of his partner. "You sure you're okay, Chief?"
Blair nodded, rolling his eyes slightly at Jim's overprotectiveness. "I'm -fine-, Jim. Now go. This is more important."
The meaning behind the words was not lost on the Sentinel. Standing up, he motioned to his brother, "C'mon Steven. Let's go upstairs."
*****
William Ellison was trying his very best -not- to be angry at his oldest son. Jim had every right to be angry at -him-, after all. It was something he had known for almost thirty years. And yet he had -chosen- not to find her. Not to find out for sure. Not to be involved in the life of one of his children. And now, he was dying. But might it already be too late?
A quiet knock on his door interrupted his musings. He looked up to see Steven walking in, followed closely by Jim. One look at Jim's face caused the older man to worry. "Jim?" he asked. "What happened? Did you find her?"
Sitting down beside the bed, Steven grabbed onto his father's hand and asked calmly, "Who, Dad? Who is Jim looking for? Mom?"
Pacing at the foot of the bed, Jim stopped at Steven's question, and glared directly at his father. "Why don't you tell him, Dad? Why don't you tell him what you told me earlier?"
William sighed. Evidently Jimmy was still angry with him. Still, his son was right. If Naomi's child was his, Stevie had just as much of a right to know as his brother did. Turning to face his younger son, he admitted, "I didn't send Jimmy out to find your mother, Stevie. It was someone else."
Steven was bewildered. "Who, Dad?"
As William explained about the affair to Steven, his eyes grew wide with disbelief as the pieces flew into place. He didn't even have to hear the woman's name before he knew. Turning to his brother, he asked, "That's what you believe, isn't it? That's why you asked for the tests." The last part wasn't a question, simply a statement of fact. Jim nodded in agreement.
Now it was William's turn to be confused, but his heart leapt with the possibilities. "Tests? Jimmy, have you found her? Have you found my child?"
Jim had to fight the urge to laugh. "-Your- child? You're not even sure if he - is- your child. And I'm sure not going to let him hang his lifelong dream on some false hope for a father-"
William had to choke back a lump in his throat. [-He-? Jimmy keeps saying - he-...] "Jimmy?" he asked, his voice growing a little stronger, "Have you found Naomi's child?" Jim scowled and turned away, not wanting to have this discussion with his father yet. At least, not until he was -absolutely- sure.
Steven, however, had no such qualms about voicing his suspicions. Squeezing his father's hand a little tighter, he explained, "Dad, Naomi's child is Blair Sandburg."
William looked over at his older son with wide-eyed disbelief. "Your partner?" Reluctantly, Jim nodded.
"The young man who helped me out of the woods that day?" Jim nodded again.
"The young man who was just in that car acciden-" [My God, I almost lost him before I ever found him...] Moving himself so he sat up in the bed, he used all of his strength to swing his legs over the side to the floor. "Steven," he ordered, "Get my wheelchair. It's folded up by the door."
Steven watched his father in shock. According to Sally, the man hadn't been able to get out of bed for almost two weeks. "Dad?" he asked. "Just what do you think you're doing?"
"I have to see him!" William insisted. "I have to talk to him."
Steven realized how irrational his father was being, and understood why Jim was trying to dodge the issue before. "Dad, maybe Jim's right. Maybe, once we get the test results back-"
"AND MAYBE I DON'T HAVE THAT LONG!" William's forceful response caused Steven to jump back involuntarily. For a moment, he sounded like a man who was completely healthy. The hard wheezing that followed, though, made them painfully aware of how much the declaration had taken out of him. Between gulps of air, William continued, "I have--to know. I have--to explain- -"
The conversation became garbled at that point between Jim's attempts to protect his partner and Steven's attempts to protect their father when a voice rang out from the doorway. "Excuse me!"
All three men looked up to see Blair leaning against the doorway. He was pale and obviously weak from the energy it took to climb the stairs, but one look in his eyes and Jim saw his partner was set and determined to get his way. "May I speak to you for a moment alone, Mr. Ellison?"
"Chief, are you sure--?"
Knowing that Jim would be the only one in the room able to hear him, Blair whispered, "Jim, I have to do this. Whether as his son or your Guide, this talk has been long overdue. And I believe you know that."
Jim thought about how his father must perceive his relationship with Blair. And the possible misconceptions that might be there. And how his father would react to those misconceptions if Blair really was his son-"You're right, Blair." Motioning that he and Steven should get up and give them some privacy, Jim laid a hand on Blair's shoulder as he walked out of the room. "But you know I'll just be downstairs..."
Blair looked into his Sentinel's eyes and -knew- exactly what the older man was thinking. "Promise me you won't listen in."
"Chief-"
Blair's tone turned forceful. "Promise. Me."
Jim sighed loudly. "All right, Sandburg. I promise."
Blair squeezed Jim's hand on his shoulder as an unspoken reassurance that he was going to be fine, then the older man left, leaving Blair alone with William Ellison.
*****
As Jim shut the door to his father's bedroom, he turned to head down the stairs and almost ran straight into his younger brother. Steven stared him down unflinchingly as he demanded to know, "Jim, why did you have to promise Blair you wouldn't eavesdrop on his conversation with dad from downstairs?"
Jim bit his lip to hide his frustration. With everything else going on, this was - not- a conversation he wanted to be having. "Steven-"
"No, Jim, not this time," Steven insisted. "Something strange is going on here, and I feel like I'm the only one left out of the loop. Now either you tell me what's going on, or you give me a -really- good reason why you don't trust me enough to tell me."
Jim sighed. If he -didn't- tell Steven, he stood a chance of losing the still-shaky friendship they had been trying to rebuild for the past two years. But would Steven believe the truth? Turning Steven around, Jim pushed his brother toward the stairs. "Let's go. We can talk in the living room."
*****
As the door closed behind him, Blair sighed, catching his breath and gathering his thoughts. Before he got a chance to speak, though, William spoke first. "Could you help me back into bed, please, Blair?"
Blair moved as quickly as his body would allow him to, helping William lift his frail legs back up onto the bed and covering them with the blanket. After the older Ellison was settled in, Blair sat down by his bedside and asked, "What do you think my relationship is with your son, Mr. Ellison?"
William rolled his eyes. This was -not- what he wanted to talk about. As a matter of fact, he was hoping he could avoid the subject altogether, particularly since the implications were, well, downright uncomfortable to even think about. "Look," William insisted, "Whatever you and Jimmy have been to each other in the past, I'm willing to overlook it as ignorance..."
Blair resisted his urge to lash out at the older man, particularly when Blair knew he was dying. Instead, he simply looked out the window, muttering, "I figured that was what you thought." Composing himself once again, Blair stated simply, "Jim and I are completely heterosexual, Mr. Ellison. The reason I became friends with your son was to help him to control his gift."
[...See, I have a -gift-, Dad...]
William drew in a sharp breath as the realization hit him. Jimmy's senses. He must use them on his job. "You...help him."
Blair nodded. "Mr. Ellison, your son is a Sentinel, a descendant of a long line of ancient warriors. They used their heightened senses to protect their people and help them find food."
William nodded, trying to understand what Blair was saying. "A Sentinel?"
"Yes," replied Blair, "the potential has been passed down in your family for generations, I would suspect. Did anyone else in your family have a gift like this?"
William nodded, although weakly. "I think my mother did. She always seemed to know where I was and what I was doing. I thought that just came from being a mother-"
"She was probably a latent Sentinel, Mr. Ellison."
Every time Blair called him 'Mr. Ellison' was sending a knife through his heart. The man who might very well be his son was sitting before him and that man felt forced to be polite and formal around him. "Please, Blair, if you don't feel comfortable calling me dad yet, could you at least call me William? Mr. Ellison makes me sound like one of your professors."
Blair smiled. Jim's dad was definitely trying. He could make an effort to try, too. "All right, William."
After a few moments of relaxed silence, William frowned, his eyes speaking of old guilt. "You help Jimmy with his senses, right?"
Blair nodded.
"He didn't need help when he was a kid. Does he need it now because I -- all those years - "
Blair squeezed William's hand, understanding now where the guilt was coming from. "No, William. That's not the reason. Sally probably helped Jim without knowing it when he was very young, and Steven helped when he was older. He doesn't need help all the time, but his senses are stronger when he has the help. That's why I work as Jim's partner."
"So what are you getting out of this?"
"-Excuse- me?"
"What are you getting out of this?" William paused for a moment to catch his breath. "Sally and Steven are Jimmy's family. I doubt he would have asked for your help if you only saw him as a charity case."
Blair let his eyes wander for a moment, composing his answer. "At first, I worked with Jim for my PhD dissertation. Jim was desperate for help, the doctors couldn't help him, and I needed a guinea pig. Full Sentinels are very hard to find, William."
William nodded. -That- made sense. But before he could jump to conclusions, Blair continued, "But after I started working with him in the field, I saw how dedicated he was to his job. To his friends. And eventually, -we- became friends. Then-"
"Family." William completed the sentence for him as the realization hit him full force. They didn't live together because they were lovers, Jim and Blair lived together because they were...
"Yeah, family." The mention of family brought the conversation full circle, and Blair and William sat in now uncomfortable silence.
As William watched Blair brush a lock of hair away from his face, he slowly began to see what Jim saw in the younger man. This was a man who had a lot going for him. [And he's far more devoted to my son than I ever was...] "Blair, I want to thank you."
Blair frowned in confusion. "Thank me? For what?"
"For being there for Jim. For helping him and Steven. For helping me."
Blair couldn't think of a response to that, so he simply squeezed the older man's hand as they sat in companionable silence.
*****
Sally watched her two boys as they came down the stairs, concerned by the tense looks on their faces. "What's wrong? Has something happened to your father--?"
Jim shook his head. "No, he's fine. Blair's with him."
Not sure whether Steven wanted Sally in the room for their little 'talk', Jim asked her, "Sally, would you mind doing us a favor and getting us two cups of coffee?"
Watching the two men carefully, she realized that Jimmy was only doing that to give them some privacy, so she replied, "Sure. I'll go put on a new pot."
As Sally went to make the coffee, Jim motioned for Steven to sit down on the couch. Once both men were seated, Jim let out a deep breath, trying to get his thoughts together to explain. "Steven, remember when we were kids, before Bud died - "
Steven frowned for a minute, concentrating on trying to remember his very early childhood. Finally, he gave up. "Things are pretty vague from back then, Jim. I was so young..."
Jim waved off his excuse. If Steven had remembered things about his childhood Sentinel abilities it would have helped, but the information wasn't all that crucial. There was other evidence. "Don't worry about it, then. Remember when you had to rebuild the grandstand at the racetrack?" Steven nodded. "You wondered how I had known the whole thing was about to cave in?"
Steven nodded again. "You blew it off, saying it was a trade secret or something..." He started to recall a vague memory from his childhood of Jim hearing his cries for help, no matter how far away he was... Immediately he put two and two together. Leaning back against the couch, he breathed out in astonishment, "You heard the cement cracking in the building, didn't you?"
Jim nodded, smiling. "I always knew you were the smart one, Stevie."
Steven rested his head in his hands, trying to reconcile the simple belief of childhood with his limited college-level scientific knowledge. What Jim was claiming wasn't possible. It simply wasn't possible... "How?"
"Trade secret actually isn't all that far off, Steven. I was born with heightened senses. Blair helps me focus them to my best advantage in my work."
"How many?"
"All of them."
"How strong?"
Jim let out a deep breath. This was always the tough part to explain. He was tempted to tell Steven what was going on upstairs, but he promised Blair he wouldn't eavesdrop. So what about a different example... He focused in on Sally, trying to isolate something unique to tell Steven, when he noticed something that disturbed him. Her heartbeat was faster than he remembered it being a few months earlier, and consistent at that... "Steven, has Sally been diagnosed with high blood pressure lately?"
Steven shook his head at the same time a loud crash could be heard coming from the kitchen. When the two brothers ran in, they could see Sally trying to clean up a broken coffee cup. Steven declared immediately, "I'll get some paper towels..." as Jim bent down to help Sally pick up the pieces of ceramic.
When Jim was down to her eye level, Sally asked in a quiet whisper, "How did you know, Jimmy? I haven't even told your father yet."
Jim had the good decency to blush. "Your pulse is faster than I last remembered it." Standing up to allow Steven to mop up the coffee with the paper towels, he commented, "I take it you heard every word."
Sally nodded. "I remember little things from when you were growing up, but I don't remember you listening to people's hearts. When did you learn to do that?"
Jim shrugged. "Blair taught me."
Steven looked up from the kitchen sink in amazement. "So it's -true-, Sally?"
The old housekeeper nodded. "My doctor told me just before your father got really sick. I didn't have the heart to tell him after that."
Jim put an arm around Sally and laid a gentle kiss on her forehead. "It's okay, Sally. I understand." Stepping back to look into her eyes, he offered, "Now if you -ever- need anything from us, you call me, okay? You're a part of this family, too, you know. In the meantime, why don't you go get some rest. You look like you could use it." Sally simply nodded her agreement.
Steven, for his part, was still stuck on Jim's revelations. "So let me get this straight, Jim. Your hearing is so good you can hear people's heartbeats?" Jim nodded.
"And Blair teaches you how to make your senses stronger?"
"More or less, yeah."
"Does he have--?"
Jim smiled and shook his head. Now -that- was a question he hadn't been asked before. "No. He doesn't. He's been studying people like me for a long time, though, so he knows what he's talking about."
"So you're just one of Blair's research subjects?"
Jim winced as memories of one of Blair's -other- 'research subjects' hit him uncomfortably hard. "We started out that way. But we became really good friends. -That's- the reason he helps me now."
"So why don't I remember any of this type of stuff from when we were growing up?"
Jim face grew sad as he remembered those painful times. "After Bud was murdered, Dad wouldn't back me up when I said I saw who killed him. He said I was crazy--that I was a freak. I stopped trying to use my senses after that, and pretty soon I just forgot how. They came back when I crashed in Peru."
"Was Blair in Peru with you?"
Jim shook his head. "No. I lost the senses again after I returned, but they came back again during a case I was working on. That's when we met."
"And you've been working together ever since?" Jim nodded.
Each man stood silent for a moment, the only noise coming from Sally who was still cleaning up the broken cup. Finally Steven broke the stalemate. "Why didn't you tell me any of this when we were at the track that night?"
"I didn't know you then."
"And you do now?"
"Not like before, but yeah. And you needed to know to totally accept Blair. That's what counts."
"Does Dad know your senses are back for good?"
Jim nodded. "I told him when we found Bud's real killer."
"And does he know about Blair?"
Jim smiled. "I have a feeling Blair's telling him right now."
Finally finished with washing his hands, Steven smiled in return. "So shall we go upstairs and rescue our potentially new little half-brother before Dad musters up his last bit of energy to try and shut him up?"
"I thought you'd think Dad would need the rescuing?"
"Between the two of -them-, it's a toss-up."
*****
As Jim and Steven climbed the stairs to their father's bedroom, both men heard something they didn't expect to hear from their father's room.
Blair. Laughing.
Slowly, Jim opened the door to find his partner laughing himself to tears over something that, evidently, his father must have told him. "Chief?"
Having finally gotten the attention of the two men, Blair greeted them. "Oh, hi guys! Jim, your dad was just telling me about some of the things you did to poor Sally as a kid. I didn't know you could be that cruel!"
"Laugh it up, junior, and I might start pulling some of those pranks on you." Allowing himself to finally smile, Jim let his curiosity get the best of him. "So everything's okay between you two now?"
Blair and William locked eyes for a brief moment, which was all that the Sentinel needed to see. "I guess so, Chief. I guess so."
"Yeah," commented Blair, "Now all we need is to find out that we're actually family."
William squeezed Blair's hand, signaling that he needed Blair's attention. His voice hoarse from overuse, William was able to loudly whisper, "You're already Jim's brother. That's enough to make you family."
Jim found himself unable to speak. Finally, his father understood what his life - his gift - was all about. Squeezing Blair's shoulder, he finally managed enough strength to say, "Thanks, dad."
*****
Epilogue - one week later
Blair walked into the loft and collapsed on the couch, exhausted. Loosening his tie, he sighed deeply. "Man, what a day. How are you holding up, Jim?"
Following close behind him, Jim had set a teakettle to boil and started slowly undoing the buttons on his dress blue uniform. He hated the thing, but he wore it to show respect at a formal occasion. Like his father's funeral. Realizing that Blair had spoken to him, he responded, "Yeah, Chief?"
"I said, how are you holding up?" Blair had only been able to spend a week with William Ellison, and already he was feeling the loss. Jim couldn't be taking this well.
Jim sighed deeply. "I'm hanging in there, Chief. I'm just glad we didn't leave anything unresolved, and we got a chance to say goodbye."
Blair smiled a peaceful smile in response. "Yeah, me too."
For a few moments, the only sound was of the water boiling in the tea kettle as both men settled down for a quiet night. Then the ringing of the phone pierced the silence. Since Jim was headed for the shower, he called out from the bathroom, "You want to get that, Chief?"
"'Kay!" called Blair in response as he picked up the line. "Hello?"
An vaguely familiar voice answered. "Can I speak to Jim Ellison, please?"
Hearing the running water of the shower, Blair figured that Jim was unavailable. "Can I leave a message for him?"
"Is this Blair Sandburg?"
[Who is this guy?] "Yes it is?"
"Oh. I'm Dr. Nicholas McPherson at Cascade General. I treated you after the truck accident last week."
Blair instantly recognized the voice when he heard the name, and a stab of panic seized through his heart. Barely able to keep himself calm, he answered, "Yes Sir, I remember."
Dr. McPherson couldn't help but laugh again at being called 'Sir'. "At any rate, I have the results from the blood tests your friend requested on your behalf. Would you like me to deliver them to you?"
"No," replied Blair, "That's all right. Jim and I will stop by to pick them up tomorrow. I know how busy you are. Is there anything you can tell me over the phone, though?" He was -dying- to know...
"Well, the two samples weren't blood related, but there were several genetic similarities. I think the sample will be of great help in your research."
Blair's heart sank. Not blood related. That meant he and Jim weren't brothers. Wanting to get off the phone, he quickly concluded the call, "Yeah, that sounds interesting, Doctor. I'll be by to pick up the results tomorrow. Thanks again for your help. I really appreciate it."
"Anytime, Mr. Sandburg. Anytime." *click*
Jim had just stepped out of the shower when he saw the look of despair in his friend's eyes. Concerned that maybe something bad had happened, he asked, "Chief? What's going on? Who was that on the phone?"
"That was Dr. McPherson, Jim. The tests were negative."
[So the search continues,] thought Jim. But from the look on his face, it wasn't hard to see the disappointment there. "So my father's not your biological father. We'll keep looking."
"Jim, don't you get it? The tests were -negative-. That means we're not brothers."
Crossing over to get closer to his friend, Jim squeezed the younger man's shoulder in encouragement. "Sounds like you don't understand, Blair. Remember what my father said? We're brothers. We don't need blood tests to tell us that."
Blair looked up into the confident eyes of his...brother. "Yeah?"
"Yeah. Now what about ordering pizza? I don't really feel up to cooking tonight."
"Okay, but I want to get vegetarian pizza this time."
"How many times to I have to tell you, Sandburg? Vegetables go -in- -your- - salad-, not on your pizza..."
-end-