New
Arrivals
Author-Lorelie
Titles
Lost Memories
Part Two
by Lorelie
See disclaimer in Part One.
Blair sighed as he tried to tune out the voices in the next room. The fact that they were at earsplitting volume made this next to impossible. Even over the sound of the rain outside, he could still hear them. Sara and Nicky had been fighting since lunch, when she had informed him that Blair would be leaving the next day. Blair did not want to go, actually had to place to go, But Sara was insistent. He had recovered from his injuries except for the memory loss, which she was sure was only temporary. Nicky had immediately balked at the idea of Blair leaving, and Blair had to admit, the kid was the main reason he did not want to go. They had grown close in the two weeks he had been there. He couldn't understand why Sara was so adamant that he leave, but it was her place.
He heard the door slam and Sara's voice. "Nicky, get back here." Then silence.
Blair walked slowly into the living room. He was at a loss for words. Finally he said. "Sara, I'm sorry, I never met to cause any problems, I'll leave tomorrow morning, as soon as it gets light."
Sara's words were drowned out by a scream from outside. "Nicky!" she yelled, panic in her voice.
Both adults ran outside in to the rain, grabbing flashlights.
"Nicky?" Blair yelled. "Were are you?" A sudden flash of deja vu crossed over him, but when he tried to pinpoint it, it was gone.
"Nicky, honey?" Sara called. Then to Blair said, "I don't see him anywhere."
Blair put his arm around her, "Don't worry, we'll find him."
Suddenly, they heard a small voice. "Mom, Blair? Help me."
Both ran toward the voice. Blair found him first, stopping short so he did not fall into the same hole that Nicky had just fallen.
"Oh my God!" Sara cried.
"It's okay," Blair soothed, then said to Nicky, "Are you hurt anywhere?"
"No, but I'm afraid to move to try to climb out."
"Don't, I'll get you out." He played his flashlight in and around the hole, then said to Sara, "It looks like this is an old well, the dirt must have caved in around it with all the rain. He only fell part of the way down, it looks like he's standing on a ridge of dirt."
Blair looked around him, noticing the large trees growing nearby. An idea came to him.
"Do you have any strong rope around.?"
"In the storage shed."
"Go get it, I'm going to tie it off on one of these trees and climb down to get him."
Sara looked at him, the panic in her eyes subsiding a bit. "Do you think you can get to him? What about the rest of the dirt, won't it cave in around him?"
"There's a lot of roots from these trees down there. I think they should hold most of the dirt back until I get him up."
After Sara had retrieved the rope, she tied it tightly around the largest tree she could find, while Blair tied the other end around his waist. When the were both set, he carefully climbed into the well, taking a second rope with him. He groaned as the rope put pressure on his recently broken ribs, but continued his climb.
"Nicky, just hold on, I'll be down in a minute to get you." He said, as he slowly made his way down to the boy. "Cover your head if you can, I may dislodge some dirt and stones."
Blair was impressed at how skillfully the well had been constructed. Given it's age, it had held up remarkably well. The original builders must have used stone, but as the trees had grown up around it, the roots had made their way through the stones, bringing with them dirt and mud. Several times he had to maneuver around roots that had grown to the middle of the well.
He reached Nicky without much difficulty. As he tied the second rope around the boy's waist, he said, ""Okay, here's where you have to help me. I need you to wrap your arms around my neck and hold on tight. Then I want you to wrap your legs around my waist, if you can. We're going to climb out of here."
Nicky did as he was told and together they gradually made their way to the top.
Sara grabbed her son as soon as they reached the top and held him in her arms, crying.
"Mom, geesh, I'm all right." Nicky said, but didn't fight the embrace.
Blair climbed out of the well and brushed himself off, watching the scene. Tears welled in his eyes and he felt a stab of envy. Was there anyone out there who cared for him like Sara cared for her son? The feeling was quickly replaced by another, one of guilt. He couldn't help feeling that there were people out there, somewhere, who did care that he was alive, and he couldn't even remember them to let them know that he was just that.
Later that night, after Sara had put Nicky to bed, she walked in to the living room where Blair was sitting, trying to warm up after getting drenched.
"How's he doing?" he asked.
"Fine. He's exhausted though."
'Yeah, near death experiences can do that to you.' Blair thought. He hadn't said anything to Sara, but Nicky had been very lucky, the roots had slowed his fall enough that when he landed on the ridge, it had held him, if he had fallen with any more force, he would have fallen all the way to the bottom of the well, breaking a leg, if not his neck in the process.
He looked at Sara. "I'm going to cover that hole tomorrow, first thing." he ran his fingers through his hair, still wet from the rain. "Then I'll take off. I really am sorry, I never meant to be such a hassle to you."
Sara sat down beside him and put her hand on his arm. "No Blair, I'm sorry. What you did tonight was wonderful, risking your life like that. No one has ever done anything like that for me before." She sighed. "I know I've been pretty rough on you. And I know now that I shouldn't have been. Nicky was right, you are a good man. I should have trusted you for the start, it's just..." she trailed off.
Blair said nothing, just waited for her to continue. He had a feeling that whatever she had to say, it was going to take a lot of courage.
"I'm originally from Spokane, but when I graduated from high school, I moved to Chicago to go to medical school."
"That explains why you're so good at stitches." Blair joked, feeling his forehead.
Sara smiled at him, then continued. "I had excelled in high school, and graduated when I was only sixteen. Going to Chicago, or anywhere so far from home, was a mistake. It was my first experience in the big city, and I kind of got carried away. When I was seventeen, I met a guy who swept me off my feet. He was about twenty-five and gorgeous, but more importantly, he was rich. My parents never had much money. That was one of the reasons I went to Chicago to school, I had a full scholarship. We fell in love and were married six months after we met. My parents were against it, but I wouldn't listen. This was true love, you know. I got pregnant soon after, and I was in seventh heaven, I thought I had it all. My husband even encouraged me to go back to school after I had Nicky, so here I was, married to a wealthy man, a mom, and pursuing my career in medicine." Sara's voice trailed off.
"What happened?"
"What happened is that I found out why my loving husband was a millionaire at the tender age of twenty-five. It turns out that his father was very big in organized crime and he had followed daddy dearest in to the family business." Sara laughed. "I found out that everything was a lie, the only reason he had encouraged me to go back to school was to keep me from asking too many questions. I didn't know what to do, but I knew I had to get out of there, for my son's sake if nothing else. I contacted the FBI and the helped me get away. They relocated me to a city south of here, called Cascade, gave me a new name and a job. I never did finish medical school, but I have to admit, it wasn't too bad a life. I met a lot of really nice people and made some good friends."
"So why did you leave?" Blair asked.
"Two weeks ago, I was coming home from work, and I saw one of my ex-husband's 'employees' outside my apartment. Luckily, he didn't see me. I went in the back entrance, packed a bag for Nicky and me, picked him up at daycare and left town. I didn't know where to go, then I remembered this cabin. It belongs to one of doctors that I worked weekends for. He and his wife are in Europe until next month, so I figured I could come up here and sort things out. I didn't think my ex-husband would find this place." Sara took a deep breath. "I wouldn't put anything past him though. When you showed up, I didn't know what to think. I've seen him pull some pretty sneaky things. For all I knew, you might have known very well who you were, and that you were hired by my ex to kill me."
"And you don't think that anymore?" Blair asked quietly.
Sara smiled at him. "Not anymore. I've seen you with Nicky, how you relate to him, no hitman would bother with that." She sighed. "And no hitman, would have risked his life tonight to save my son's." She gave him a quick hug and got off the couch. "If you still want to leave tomorrow, I won't stop you, but I want you to know that you're welcome to stay, for as long as you want or need."
Blair watched as she left the room. A sudden fear washed over him. Sara was sure that he didn't work for her ex-husband, but he wasn't. He couldn't even remember his last name, or where he was from, let alone what he did for a living. The thought of killing someone for money or pleasure left a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't be like that, could he?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jim looked around at all the faces that had crowded in the small chapel on the campus of Rainier University. Many were familiar, cops that worked with Jim, students and faculty that Jim had met through Blair. Others were faces Jim did not recognize. Strangers, some just curious, others just wanting to pay their respects. He had not wanted to be here. He had resisted the idea when Simon had first told him that Blair's friends from the university had wanted to hold a memorial service. Jim couldn't make Simon understand the reason he did not want to attend. He wasn't even sure that he understood himself.
It had nothing to do with the fact that it was going to be a media circus. The mayor and councilwoman Hoyle had wanted to attend, to pay their respects, and Jim knew the press would be there. It made good copy, the mother of the little girl saved, honoring the dead hero, while all his friends mourned him.
He had refused to go a first, but Simon had insisted.
"You know Jim, you're not the only one that's grieving. Those people lost Sandburg too. I think it's a nice idea, and I think it would be a slap in the face if you didn't attend."
Jim had consented, and so now here he was, surrounded by other people who knew and loved Blair. In a way, it did make him feel better, that he was not alone in his grief. He was pleased to see how many of his fellow officers had shown up. Not just the ones that he would consider friends of Blair's, like Simon and Joel, but others, those that had grudgingly began to accept Blair as Jim's partner.
As Jim drove home, he thought to himself, 'Blair would have really liked that.' The people who had put it together had really known him. Tribal music had played in the background throughout the service. Several people had spoken, not long, sad speeches, but more reminiscences of 'life with Blair'. Jim had found himself laughing at several of the stories. They had even chosen some of Blair's favorite songs, and a small group of students had sung them. Even the press had behaved themselves. All in all, it hadn't been as horrible as he had thought it would be.
Even so, it was an emotionally and physically exhausted man who walked into the loft. After the service, he, Simon and Daryl had grabbed a pizza, no one wanting to go home immediately. They had sat around for hours, trading their own Sandburg stories.
Jim took his jacket off and hung it up, then dropped on the couch. He grabbed the remote control and turned on the television.
"Memorial services were held today for Blair Sandburg, the Rainier University graduate student who died recently rescuing Jacqie Hoyle, daughter of councilwoman Nancy Hoyle."
"Shit, I can't go through this again." Jim whispered to himself as he punched the off button on the remote and stood up. "May as well go to bed."
Sleep did not come easy to him. He tossed and turned, waking every half hour or so from fitful slumber. 'This is ridiculous,' he thought, as he looked at the clock for what seemed like the millionth time. 'Maybe if I read for a while.'
He got up and walked downstairs, planning on choosing some cheesy mystery from the bookshelf. As he got to the bottom of the stairs, he noticed the doors to Blair's room. He hadn't been able to bring himself to enter the room since Blair had disappeared, but now, suddenly, something compelled him to do so.
With a lump forming in his throat, he opened the doors and walked in. The room was as his guide had left it, his notebooks strewn about, books lying open on the bed and next to it. Jim walked over to the bed and sat down. The room still smelled like Sandburg. No one with a normal sense of smell would have picked it up, but Jim did. He could still smell his shampoo, his soap. But the room was so empty. Only memories of Blair existed now. Jim felt tears well up in his eyes, and his heart felt as empty as the room.
"Blair," he said out loud, "I'm sorry, I should have been there for you. I should have been able to save you. That's suppose to be my job, the Blessed Protector. But I failed."
Jim cleared the bed of the books and papers with a violent sweep of his hand. The tears were falling now, and he could not, did not, want to stop them.
"Why did you have to leave me?" He sobbed. "I don't just let anybody into my life you know. Actually, I did a pretty good job of keeping everyone out. Then you have to come along and make me care. It's just not fair. You became more than just my best friend, you became my family, someone who put their complete trust in me, trusted me with his life, and made me trust you with mine. You were there for me when I thought I was going crazy, not sure what the hell was going on with these senses. But you tell me that I'm fine, that everything is fine. Well Sandburg, I've got news for you. You're gone, and everything is not fine."
Jim continued to cry, gut wrenching sobs, as he finally let the grief that had built up in him out, finally accepting the loss of his best friend, his guide.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The ringing of the telephone woke him. Jim stirred, opened his eyes and tried to focus, his head pounding. Looking around, he realized he must have fallen asleep in Blair's room.
He grabbed the phone. "Ellison."
"Jim, it's Simon. Look, I know I told you last night to take a few days off, but I need you to come down to the station, as soon as possible. It looks like we may have a break in the Sara West case. I already called Carolyn, and she's meeting us in my office at nine o'clock. Can you be here by then?"
Jim checked the alarm clock next to the bed. It was just eight now, enough time to grab a shower and make it there in time.
"Sure," he said, "I'll be there as soon as possible."
He met Carolyn on the elevator. She eyed him with concern. "You okay?" She asked.
"Just a little tired. I haven't been getting much sleep lately."
She put a comforting hand on his arm. "I know, this hasn't exactly been a great few weeks for anyone around here."
"Yeah, let's hope this lead pans out and things start turning around."
The look on Captain Banks face told them that the news wasn't going to be as good as they had hoped.
"Sit down," he motioned to them as they entered his office. "First, let me introduce Agents Katy Webber and Mark Bonds, of the FBI."
Jim and Carolyn shook hands with the two federal agents.
"Someone want to tell us what's going on?" Jim asked.
Agent Bond began to speak. "Well, were do we start? Let's see, have either of you heard of a Nathaniel Prentiss?" When neither answered, he went on. "Mr. Prentiss was a very big player in organized crime back in Chicago. He 'retired' a few years ago and his son, Daniel took over for him. Actually, the old man really wasn't that bad. In the old days, they almost had a code of ethics. But Daniel is bad news, we've had our eyes on him for several years, but haven't been able to touch him. He definitely plays in the big leagues though. We think he's responsible for quite a bit of the drug traffic in Chicago, as well as several other Midwest cities. Not to mention the occasional extortion, money laundering and murder."
"What does this have to do with Sara?" Carolyn asked.
Agent Webber took over. "Sara West is Daniel Prentiss' ex-wife, and Nicky is his son. The poor thing didn't know what she was getting into. When she realized who and what Prentiss was, she contacted us. We arranged for her to be relocated here. Everything was fine until a few weeks ago, when one of Prentiss' associates was spotted in Cascade. We figure Sara must have seen him also, and that's why she ran."
"How do you know that she left on her own accord, that Prentiss' men didn't grab her?" Jim asked.
"You saw her apartment, there didn't appear to be any signs of struggle. And we know that Sara picked Nicky up at daycare. Also, not only are Prentiss' men still in Cascade, but Daniel himself arrived in town two days ago. Our gut feeling is that they haven't found her yet, but they're getting close."
Bonds looked at Simon. "We really could use your help. With all the government cutbacks, our small field office is pretty strapped for manpower. We'd appreciate any assistance you can give us."
"What do you need from us?" The captain inquired.
"We have most of available people on surveillance keeping an eye on Prentiss and company. I know that you've already checked out any leads that you had trying to locate Sara, but maybe if you double checked them, we might come up with something new."
Simon looked at Carolyn and Jim. "It's up to you two. If you want in, I'll clear it."
Carolyn and Jim exchanged glances. Finally Carolyn spoke for both of them. "It can't hurt."
Jim added, "We'll check out her apartment again, then go talk to the people she worked with. Maybe there's something we missed, or maybe someone has remembered something."
"Great, in the meantime, we'll keep tabs on Prentiss, and make sure he doesn't find her first." Agent Webber replied.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Find anything?" Jim asked.
Carolyn came out of Sara's bedroom. "Nothing." Jim heard the frustration in her voice. They had returned to the apartment to search again for clues, the urgency in finding the missing mother and child made clear to them after speaking with the FBI.
"Hey, I recognize this." Carolyn had walked over to a table near the front door and had opened a package of photographs that had been delivered in the mail.
Jim walked over to stand beside her. It was a photo of Carolyn, Sara and Nicky standing by a fountain.
"We took Nicky to the science museum. God, it looks like she must have sent five or six rolls to be developed. She pulled the rest of pictures out of the envelope.
"Let me see those." Jim said. He began to quickly scan the photos, hoping for some clue. He came to a bunch of photos of Sara, Nicky and two older people, standing in front of a cabin.
"Do you recognize these two?" he asked his ex-wife.
"I don't know, they look familiar." Carolyn studied the photo. "Wait a minute, yes, I met them here, at a dinner party Sara threw once. I think he's a doctor she worked for. Dr. Stewart, and his wife." She looked at Jim, "You think they may know where she is?
"I don't know, but it's worth talking to him. This cabin looks like it's pretty isolated, if Sara ran in a panic, she may have gone there."
An hour later, they were sitting in the office of Ms. Carlyle, Dr. Stewart's office manager. She looked at the photos that Jim had brought with him.
"Yes, that's Dr. and Mrs. Stewart. This was taken at their cabin in the mountains north of here. Near a small town called Northwood.
"How did Dr. Stewart know Sara?" Carolyn asked.
"Dr. Stewart has quite a number of elderly patients, who either can't get out, or have a limited income. He usually sets aside two Saturdays a month and holds clinics for them, in their neighborhoods. Sara is just wonderful with the patients and so she would work for him, you know taking blood samples for routine tests, checking blood pressures, things like that."
"Is Dr. Stewart here?" Jim asked, "We really need to speak to him."
"I'm afraid that would be impossible. You see Dr. and Mrs. Stewart are in Europe, the won't be back until next month.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning, as Jim and Simon were driving toward Northwood, Jim remembered the Captain's hesitation when he and Carolyn had come to him with their idea.
"Come on Simon, it's worth a shot. What harm can it do to drive up there and check the place out."
"I don't know Jim, it seems like a long shot to me."
Carolyn had placed a hand on Simon's arm. "It's not like we have any other leads. Jim's right. What harm could it do."
"All right." Simon consented. "Let me call the FBI and let them know."
The FBI had been encouraged by the news, especially since Daniel Prentiss had somehow eluded his tail and was no longer under surveillance.
So now here they were, Jim and Simon in his truck and four FBI agents, following them, driving toward Northwood. They stopped in the town for directions, and then proceed to the cabin. Finding the cabin itself proved to be less difficult than they had thought, after getting directions from the grizzled gentleman at the only gas station in town. Of course it helped that Jim had lead, his senses turned up to full tilt.
He pulled the Ford to the side of the road at the turnoff to the cabin and walked back to the car carrying the FBI agents.
"The cabin is about a mile down this road. I think it's a good idea if we split up and approach from different angles, just in case Prentiss is already here."
The group agreed, and began walking quietly toward the cabin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I don't think heights are a good thing for me." Blair mumbled to himself as he made his way carefully across the cabin's sloping roof, pulling the hood of his rain slicker tighter around his face. It had been raining since yesterday morning, and now the roof was leaking. Blair had volunteered to fix it, but now that he was on the roof, he was having second thoughts. As he turned to reach the tools he had brought with him, a movement in the woods caught his eye. He strained to see, and saw two men making their way to the cabin. Watching them move closer, he couldn't help but think that they looked familiar to him.
'Damn!' he said to himself as he made his way down off the roof. 'They have to be Prentiss' men. Maybe I am working for Sara's ex-husband, maybe I really did come here to kill her.' He took a deep breath as panic threatened to overtake him. 'Well, I may have come up here with that in mind, but these two have trusted me, and there's no way in hell I'm going to let Prentiss get them.'
"Where's Nicky?" He asked Sara, running into the cabin.
"He's down at the pond fishing." She had heard the urgency in his voice. "Why what's wrong?"
"I saw two guys on their way to the cabin. Listen, I'm going to get Nicky, you grab some clothes and meet us in the Jeep." Blair ran out of the cabin and toward the pond.
Nicky was sitting on to bank, several fish at his side.
"Hey Blair, you're right they really are easier to catch when it's raining."
"That's great Nicky, but we have to go."
"Aw come on, I'm really doing good, don't want to have to go back."
Blair walked over and grabbed the boy, pulling him to is feet.
"Come on Nicky, this is no time to argue."
Nicky saw the alarm on Blair's face. "What's going on?" he asked.
"There are some bad people coming looking for us. I think they may have found us. Your mom's getting some things together and is going to meet us in the Jeep, then we're going to get out of here."
As they started back toward the cabin, Blair tried to plot their escape. Most of the path back to the cabin was under the cover of dense forest, but the last hundred yards or so had been cleared when the cabin had been built, and unlike the other side of where the Jeep was parked, where Nicky had fallen into the well, the trees had not been allowed to grow back.
When they reached the clearing, Blair put a hand out to stop Nicky, he leaned down to whisper in his ear.
"Look I'm not sure where they are right now, but your mom should be in the Jeep by now. We're going to have to make a run for it. No matter what happens, you have to promise me you won't stop. Okay?"
Nicky nodded.
"Okay, on the count of three then." Blair took a deep breath. "One, two, three!" Both took off running toward the Jeep.
Jim had made his way to the edge of the clearing, with Simon bringing up the rear a few yards back. He had heard sounds coming from his right, and saw two figures. He focused his vision and made out a man and a boy just as they reached the edge of the clearing.
'Damn,' he thought. 'Prentiss and his men are already here.'
Just then the boy made a run for it, toward the cabin, the man in hot pursuit.
"Freeze!" Jim shouted.
The man did not slow down.
"Stop or I'll shoot!" Jim yelled. Still, the man made no indication of stopping.
Jim leveled his gun and aimed it at the fleeing man. He fired one shot, and it hit it's mark, striking the man in the chest. As the man fell, the hood of his slicker fell away from his face and head to reveal a mane of dark, curly hair.
Jim's eyesight, focused to direct his aim, was drawn to the man's face, and suddenly everything in the Sentinel's world went numb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Blair felt the bullet as it ripped into him, but just as quickly as his mind registered the jolt of pain that shot through him, other thoughts began rushing back to him. Memories. Suddenly, he remembered who he was, Blair Sandburg, part time teaching assistant and full time Sentinel Guide. He remembered Cascade, the police department, Jacqie Hoyle and Jim. Jim! It had been him and Simon in the woods, no wonder he had recognized them. But wait a minute, what were they doing here? Oh God, it had been Jim's voice that has told him to stop. Jim had been the one who had shot him. Pain began to work it's way back into his mind, and he realized he was having trouble breathing. Every breath he took was agony, it felt like his lungs were on fire. He was sure that Jim had not recognized him when he had started running toward the cabin. He felt a sadness overwhelm him as he thought what the Sentinel would do when he realized that he had shot his guide.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Jim, Jim!!!!" Simon shook him. No response. "What the hell is going on?"
Jim heard a voice in the far distance, but only one thought invaded his mind, a voice, repeating itself over and over. "Blair, I shot Blair. I've killed the most important person in my life."
Simon shook Jim again, this was not the time for a zone out. It appeared that Prentiss' men had already found the cabin and Jim and taken one out. He couldn't figure out what was going on. A voice on his radio suddenly cracked.
"Banks, you guys okay, was that a gunshot we heard?"
"Yeah, it looks like Prentiss beat us here, but Jim got one of them."
"We're almost there, we'll let you know when we're in position." came the answer.
Jim had heard Simon's last statement. "No" he said.
"What?" Simon asked, thoroughly confused now. "What do you mean, no?"
"I didn't take out one of Prentiss' men. I shot Blair."
"Blair, Blair Sandburg? Jim, Blair's dead, remember, he drowned in the Cascade River."
"He may be dead Simon, but only because I just killed him."
"Jim," Simon started.
Jim turned to him, his eyes filled with hurt. "I know it sounds crazy but when he fell, I saw his face. Trust me Simon, I know Blair when I see him."
Simon could tell that Jim was on the brink of losing it. He looked toward the figure lying on the ground, trying to focus on his face. He was too far away to recognize any close up features, but he had to admit, the man did have hair like Blair's, and they were in the same general area where he disappeared.
"Okay, Jim maybe it is, but if it is, why didn't he stop when you told him to? He should have recognized your voice."
"I don't know Simon, I just don't know." Jim sighed, and began to train his hearing on Blair, hoping against hope to hear some sign of life from the man lying on the ground. Wait there it was, a heartbeat, slow, but it was Blair's. Jim heard another sound, a wheezing, Oh God! He was having trouble breathing.
He felt Simon grab his arm, hissing. "It looks like we have another problem."
Sara West suddenly appeared to the left of the Jeep, holding on to Nicky's hand. Standing behind her, holding a gun to her head, was a man.
"That's Prentiss." came a voice over Simon's radio.
Daniel Prentiss began to speak. "I'm not really sure who all you people are, but I'm willing to bet some of you are with the FBI, sorry to leave without saying goodbye this morning, but as you can see, I had other matters to attend to. I really want to thank whoever took that one guy out too, did me a big favor. He was probably the only one who could have thrown a monkey wrench in my plan here."
"Speaking of plans." he continued, "Here's mine. The little missus and I, along with junior are going to get in the Jeep and drive off. No funny stuff, like trying to stop us, or follow us either, this damp weather is really doing a number on my sinuses and I am not in a very good mood. Understand?"
Blair had remained conscious throughout Prentiss's little tirade, although it was getting harder to breath. It was becoming readily apparent to him that he probably would not make it out of these mountains alive, and he was sure that Prentiss was not planning on letting Sara and Nicky live either. As he turned his head to see the trio, an idea began to form.
'It's crazy,' he thought, 'But it just might work.' Prentiss was standing directly in front of the well that Nicky had fallen down. Blair had covered the well with a few makeshift boards, just so there was no open hole, but he had never covered it fully. If he could somehow push Prentiss off balance enough to fall through the boards, it would put him out of commission long enough for Jim, Simon and whatever FBI agents were around to take over. There was a good possibility that he would also tumble down the well, but what the hell, there weren't a lot of options left here.
He began to move slowly, struggling to get up, every move was agony. He was sure the bullet had done damage to his lungs, he could still feel the burning with each breath, but a numb feeling was beginning to overtake that. He knew that when he died, guilt would overwhelm Jim, may already be overwhelming him. He had to try to make Jim understand, why he had to do this one more thing.
"Jim," he said so quietly that only a Sentinel sense of hearing could pick it up. "I know you didn't know it was me, I know you didn't do this on purpose, but I don't think I'm gonna make it, and I think I can save Sara and Nicky. I've got to try. I'm sorry."
With all the strength he could muster, he got to his feet and started moving toward Daniel Prentiss.
Jim saw Blair trying to move, to get up. 'What is he doing? Why doesn't he just lay there, until we can get some help?' The hopelessness of the situation was beginning to dawn on him. There was no way they were going to be able to get Blair out of here until the situation with Prentiss was taken care of. And as much as Jim was willing to give him what he wanted, to save Blair's life, deep in his heart he knew that Sara and Nicky would not survive if they got into the Jeep with Prentiss.
"Jim..." Blair's voice came to him in whisper.
"No Blair, don't do it." Jim answered. He turned to Simon, "Blair's going to try something, I don't know what."
"All units, get set to move in." Simon whispered urgently into his radio.
As soon as Blair started, moving, the adrenaline kicked in, moving him faster than he had even hoped. Sara saw him coming first, and immediately knew what he was planning. She too had realized what stood directly in back of them. As soon as he ex-husband's attention was distracted by the oncoming figure, she pushed herself away from him and grabbed her son's arm, beginning to run away from her ex-husband with him.
Blair hit Prentiss with a force that was much greater than he had even imagined, and sent him reeling backwards. Just as Blair had hoped, he hit the wooden boards, which collapsed under the weight of the two men.
Everyone else stared in horror as both men disappeared into the depths of the well.
Jim and Simon had begun to move toward the trio, following Blair when he had started to run. Neither knew what he was up to, but were intent on backing him up. They reached the well peered into it, not sure what horrific sight may meet their eyes. Prentiss, not knowing what was happening, had not been able to stop himself, and had fallen to the bottom. Jim could tell by the position of the body that he had broken his neck. Blair had managed to grab hold of one the roots that had grown into the well. He was rapidly losing his grasp though, as his strength ebbed.
"Hang on Sandburg, please just hang on!" Jim yelled to him.
He laid down on the ground and reached his hand down to Blair.
"Come on, Chief, take my hand, you can do it."
"Jim, I, I can't, it's too... I don't think I can."
"Yes you can!" Jim said sharply "Come on, I'm not going to lose you again, take my hand damn it."
Blair's grip on the root slipped again. "Okay," he said to Jim, "I'm gonna try." Slowly he let go of the branch with one hand and reached for Jim's. Jim grabbed it and began pulling him out of the well.
"That's it Blair, you got it. It's going to be okay now." Jim heaved a sigh of relief. As he pulled him to the top he said, "You're going be all right Blair, we're going to get you out of here."
Only then did he realize that Blair had lost consciousness as soon as he had grabbed Jim's hand.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jim paced the waiting room covering the short distance from the door to where Simon sat in silence, watching him.
The last few hours had been a blur. Jim has tried to revive Blair, to bring him back to consciousness. Simon has stood in back of him, his hand on Jim's shoulder as gently examined Blair to check the extent of the wound. Jim was horrified to see the entrance and exit wounds, the blood loss, and to hear his guide's breathing becoming more and more labored, just as his heart beat was growing fainter.
"Come Chief, please stay with me." he pleaded, pulling the young man close. "You can't leave me now. Come on, keep breathing."
"Jim the medivac chopper will here in few minutes." Simon said from behind him. He had called for help right after Jim had shot Blair, realizing the only chance he had of surviving was if they got him the hospital as soon as possible.
Sara knelt down beside Jim, bandages in her hands. "Come on, let's see if we can stop the bleeding." Together they wrapped the bandages around the wounds, trying to stem the blood that still flowed.
The helicopter arrived and Jim moved back, letting the medics take over. He stood silently by, watching as they strapped Blair into a stretcher and placed him aboard the aircraft.
"He'll be okay Jim." Simon tried to comfort him. "It'll be okay."
He turned to Simon, tears in is eyes. "He's lost so much blood, and he can't breath. I don't know Simon, I just don't know."
He had ridden to the hospital with Blair, while Simon, Sara and Nicky returned to Cascade in Jim's truck.
The ride to the hospital had only taken a half hour, but it seemed like an eternity to Jim, as he listened to Blair's labored breaths. 'God, this is all my fault.' he thought to himself.
It was now several hours after they had arrived at the hospital. Carolyn had met them at the hospital and taken Sara and Nicky home. The boy had been in a state of shock ever since Blair had been shot, and Sara did not want him to have to sit around the waiting room of the hospital. She and Carolyn would return as soon as Nicky had been settled in and she found someone to watch him. Blair had been stabilized in the ER, and been taken to surgery, the surgeon stopping in only to explain that the damage to his lungs needed to be dealt with.
"I don't understand Simon," Jim was saying. "what was he doing up there anyway, why didn't he let us know he was alive. He knew we'd all be worried sick about him. It just doesn't make sense."
"Because he didn't remember you." Sara and Carolyn had walked into the room. "He sustained a pretty nasty head wound when he fell into the river. He didn't know who he was, where he was from, not a thing..."
"That's why he didn't stop when you told him to. He had no idea who you were." Carolyn told Jim.
"But he knows who we are now. When did his memory come back?" Jim asked.
"I think it was after the shooting. The trauma was enough of a shock to his system that it brought everything back."
Jim sighed and thought to himself,. 'Great job Ellison, this morning Blair didn't know who we was, but at least he was alive, now he knows, but that's not going to do him any good if he dies.'
His attention was drawn to a movement at the door of the waiting room. The surgeon who had spoken to then briefly before had returned.
"How is he doctor?" Simon asked.
Jim held his breath.
"He's made it through surgery. There was some pretty extensive damage done to both his lungs, and there was a significant amount of blood loss, but no damage to any other organs."
"Is he going to be all right?" Sara asked.
The doctor sighed. "I'm afraid we don't know for sure, yet. As I said, Mr. Sandburg sustained severe damage to both lungs. Right now, we have him on respirator, helping him breath, and he's still unconscious." He gave them a sympathetic look. "At this point, it could go either way."
Jim let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd still been holding. "Can we see him?" he asked.
"He's being moved from recovery to ICU right now, but I can't let you all into see him. Maybe one of you, but only for a moment."
Simon, Carolyn and Sara exchanged glances. It was forgone conclusion who would go in to see Blair.
A nurse showed Jim to Blair's room, a cubicle really, surrounded by panes of Plexiglas like all the rest of ICU so the nurses could keep an eye on patient's in such critical condition.
Jim took a deep breath and walked into the room. The pit in his stomach tightened when he saw Blair lying there, hooked up to the respirator and other machines. Blair looked so small, so vulnerable. 'This is all my fault.' Jim thought in despair. 'I did this to him.' He walked over to the bed and placed a hand on Blair's forehead, absently brushing back a few locks of hair that had fallen onto the young man's face.
Jim took another deep breath. There was so much he wanted to say, needed to say, but the feeling of hopelessness had begun to overwhelm him. He felt tears burning in his eyes, and his heart began to beat faster.
"I'm so sorry Blair." was all he could get out before he turned and ran from the room.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The peal of the bells brought Jim's back from his mini-zone out. He realized he was standing in front of a small church. He looked around him, and saw the main entrance to the hospital across the street. He remembered running out of the hospital, feelings of guilt and despair overtaking him.
It been years since he had even set foot into a church, but suddenly, it seemed like the only thing to do. He walked slowly into the church and sat down in a pew, looking toward the altar. He sat quietly for a few moments, letting the tears come. He looked up at the cross hanging above the altar. "I know this probably isn't right." he said, "I mean I really don't have any right to ask you for anything, I haven't exactly been an altar boy. But this just isn't fair, first you take him away from me, make me think that he's dead. And then just when I finally begin to accept it, suddenly he's back only to be taken away again. And this time because of something I did. It's just not right. Maybe Blair's right. Maybe it's just some bad karma thing. Damn it, this should be a joyous time, I should be telephoning everyone that Blair knows and telling them that he's alive, that he didn't drown. But instead I'm going to have to tell them that no, he didn't drown, I shot him instead." Jim continued to sit there, lost in his despair, crying silently.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Several hours later, he walked back into the hospital. The crying had left his head pounding, but he felt better. He felt like he had exorcised some of the demons that had tormented his soul since Blair had first disappeared. Now he had to be there for Blair, no matter what happened.
He walked quickly to Blair's room and started to go in, coming to a abrupt stop when he realized that it was empty. He ran back to the nurse's station.
"Excuse me, where's Blair Sandburg? You know the patient in room two." he asked, panic threatening to overtake him.
The nurse gave him a small smile. "Mr. Sandburg? Hold on, let me call Dr. Reese for you. He can explain everything."
'Oh God no,' Jim thought to himself, 'Blair's dead, he's really gone, and I let him die alone.'
Just then, Dr. Reese, the surgeon who had operated on Blair, came up to Jim.
"Detective Ellison?"
Jim turned to him. "Doctor, what happened? I mean I know you said it could go either way, but when I left him, he was doing okay. And now..." Jim's voice trailed off.
Confusion showed in the doctor's eyes, then, suddenly what Jim was saying dawned on him. "You don't understand detective. Mr. Sandburg isn't dead. Actually he's doing better. He began breathing his own a few hours ago, so we took him off the respirator, and we've moved him to another room." He put his hand on Jim's shoulder. "Come on, I'll take you to him."
Jim couldn't believe how much better Blair looked. Just not seeing him hooked up to all the machines was an improvement in itself, but he also noticed that Blair's color was better, and his heartbeat was stronger. The doctor had said that the young man had still not regained consciousness, but hoped that he would be soon.
Jim found a chair and moved it close to the bed. He took hold of Blair's hand, careful not to disturb the intravenous tubing in his arm. There was so much he had to say, and he wasn't sure even where to begin.
"Sandburg..." he started, "Blair, I don't know what to say to you. First, I am so sorry for this, I know this is my fault, that you wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for me. I should have realized that it was you back there at the cabin, I can't believe that I shot you. I wouldn't blame you if you never spoke to me again. But that would be okay, because at least I'd know that you're alive." Jim realized he was beginning to ramble, but there was so much he had to say and he needed to make sure he said it before he lost his nerve. "When you fell and I watched you carried away by the river, I didn't think that I'd ever see you again. I think that was the worst moment in my life. Worse than all the time I spent alone in Peru, worse than when these heightened senses started and I thought I was going nuts. I thought I had lost you, Chief, and I didn't know what I was going to do without you." Jim sighed, absently placing his hand on Blair's forehead. "But it's okay now, because you're here, and you're going to be okay."
"Jim shut up."
Jim was startled out of his thoughts. "What?"
The voice was weak, but there it was, Blair's voice. "I said shut up man. You sound like you're going to confession."
Jim smiled remembering his recent visit to the church.
Blair continued. "It's not your fault man, I don't blame you. I tried to tell you that up in the woods, before I pushed Prentiss down the well. Just in case, well you know, I didn't make it out of there."
"You almost didn't make it out of there." Jim said, guilt in his voice.
"What do I have to do to make you believe that it's not your fault?" Blair asked, his eyes meeting Jim's, exasperation in his voice. "You didn't know it was me. I figured you must have thought I was dead. You were just trying to save Sara and Nicky."
"Still, I should have recognized you."
"How? Jim, if you're looking for someone to blame, then blame me, I should have known it was you calling to me. If I had stopped with Nicky all this could have been avoided."
"Sandburg, don't be stupid, you had amnesia. You couldn't have recognized us."
Blair smiled. "Exactly, and you thought I was dead, so their was no way you would have known it was me."
Jim returned his friend's smile. Blair was right. The guilt over the fact that he has been the one to cause pain to his best friend was still there, but that would slowly ease, he realized that. The important thing was that his guide did not blame him for what had happened, and Blair was back, safe and sound.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"God man, you are on edge today." Blair said, as Jim fumbled to unlock the door to the loft. "What is with you?" He had been out of the hospital for two weeks, and had just returned from seeing the doctor, who had been very pleased with his progress. Another week or so, and he may just have a clean bill of health.
"Nothing's the matter." Jim unlocked the door and moved out of the way so Blair could go in first, then followed behind him.
"Surprise!!!" came a chorus of voices as Blair turned on the lights. He looked around. The loft was filled with people both from the University and the station. A banner hung from the ceiling read "Welcome back, Blair!"
"Wow man, this is great!" he turned to Jim, "You knew about this?"
Jim smiled, seeing the pleased look on his young friend's face. "Yeah, I knew, but I can't take credit for it though. It was Daryl's idea, mostly."
The young man had come up to him, along with his father. Blair put his hand on the Daryl's head and patted it. "Hey, thanks kid, this is just great."
Simon handed a beer to Jim and a soda to Blair. When Blair protested, Jim said, "No alcohol yet, you're still on medication."
"Yes mom." Blair smiled.
"Your attention everyone." Simon said loudly. "I'd like to make a toast." He raised his bottle and said. "Several weeks ago, most of us this room gathered for what was a much more somber occasion, saying goodbye to a very good friend." He looked at Sandburg. "Tonight, we gather under much happier circumstances, because, as the saying goes, the stories of his death were greatly exaggerated. Welcome back, Blair."
Some time later, Blair sat on the couch, looking at the faces of the people in the room, people he was proud to call his friends. He felt honored that they cared about him, and content with his life in Cascade. A feeling of guilt washed over him. How could he have ever had forgotten this life, even with his head injury.
"What's a matter Chief?" Jim sat down on the couch next to him. He had noticed the look on Blair's face and was concerned. "You feeling okay? I wasn't sure about this party tonight, I thought it might be too soon after you got out of the hospital. If you're tired, let me know, everyone will understand."
"No Jim, it's not that, I'm fine." He sighed. "It's just that, all these people, this place. I can't believe that I forgot all of it. I can't believe that I forgot about you. You all mean so much to me."
Jim gave Blair a quick hug, "Don't worry about it, the doctor said it's not uncommon with that type of trauma to the head. The important thing is that you have your memory back now, and that you're back here with us, safe and sound. Now I need another beer, you want anything?" He got up off the couch.
Blair shook his head, and looked around again. Jim was right, the important thing was that he did remember everything now, and how important all these people were to him.
Blair sighed contentedly. "Yes" he said to himself, "It's all right, because I'm finally home."
Finis