New
Arrivals
Author-Vision
Titles
Payback
by Vision
Summary: Written in answer to the 1999 CT Christmas challenge. Humor.
Written in answer to Angie's CT Christmas challenge. Story had to include: an explosion, a cow bell, a shoe horn, a piano, a model airplane, a jar of black olives, a jelly fish, a sled with a real live oink-oink pig on it, Hermey the Elf from the Rudolph Christmas special, a Christmas tree with red and green chili pepper-shaped and colored lights, a train going around a Christmas tree, and presents for everyone.
Disclaimer: Jim, Blair, and Simon do not belong to me. They are the property of Pet Fly and Paramount. I don't make any money etc. etc. Vision sends Becky a big thank you for all of her work.
Simon slammed the door and turned to face the two men standing in front of his desk. "What have you got to say for yourself, Detective?"
Giving Blair a sideways glance, Jim thrust his arms behind his back. "There's no excuse, sir. We're very sorry if we caused any damage."
Raising his eyebrows, Blair shook his head. "It wasn't my idea to replace the reindeer with a pig. You thought of it, not me."
Chuckling, Jim attempted to control his laughter. "You should have seen his face, Simon. It was priceless. The Mayor in all his glory being pulled in a sleigh with a pot bellied pig for a reindeer."
Simon's stone face squelched the outburst of laughter. "I fail to see the humor in this Jim. The Mayor was furious. I did come up with a way for you to make it up to him though. I'm sure you'll agree that it's the least you can do after today's...antics."
Composing himself, Jim nodded. "Of course, sir. Whatever I can do."
Lighting his cigar, Simon smiled. "Tonight is the Mayor's Christmas Ball. Since you're in such high Christmas spirits, I told him you'd be happy to run the security detail for the event."
Shuffling his feet nervously, Jim cleared his throat. "Simon, you know how I feel about this kind of thing. I hate these things."
Smiling broadly, Simon took a long puff of his cigar. "I know. That's all gentlemen. Your tuxes will be delivered by five. Have a wonderful time."
Jim opened his mouth to speak, as Simon put a hand up to stop him. "Don't bother, Jim. It's all arranged. Run along now, boys. The Mayor's waiting."
_____
Jim wrestled into the vest of the tuxedo and held his breath as he did up the buttons. Muttering to himself, he adjusted the bow tie. "Need a damn shoe horn to get this thing on. Stupid monkey suit. Christmas Ball. How the hell I ever get mixed up in this anyway?"
Appearing in the living room, Blair glanced up at Jim's bedroom. "Hey, good looking. You ready?"
Descending the stairs, Jim pulled at his tie. "As ready as I'll ever be. Let's just get this over with."
Slapping Jim on the back, Blair laughed. "It'll be fun. Think of all the babes decked out in their Christmas best. Good food, women, what could be better?"
Sliding on his jacket, Jim threw Blair the keys. "I'd rather be home watching Hermey the Elf than going to this stupid party, Sandburg."
____
Jim glanced around the room, making eye contact with the Mayor. Approaching Jim, Blair handed him a drink. "Everything okay, Jim?"
Taking a quick sip of the drink, Jim grimaced. "What is that stuff. Tastes like sea water. I wouldn't be surprised if there were jelly fish swimming in it."
Pointing towards a beautiful, young woman, Blair winked. "Now that's beautiful. I think I'll introduce myself."
Rolling his eyes, Jim snickered. "Don't you think she's a little out of your league, Chief?"
"And what "league" would that be?"
Loosening his tie, Jim gestured towards the Christmas tree. "See that tree over there. It's perfect, right? You see one piece of tinsel out of place? No."
Raising his eyebrows, Blair laid his hand against his heart. "Are you saying my ‘tinsel' isn't straight?"
Glancing skyward, Jim muttered. "I'm saying your tree's missing a few...boughs. Maybe a light or two."
Cuffing Jim in the head, Blair straightened his jacket. "Fine. I'll prove it to you. Fifty bucks says I get a date with her by the end of the night."
Jim grinned. "And if I win. We throw out those stupid red and green chili pepper lights you so lovingly have draped on the tree. Red. green, red, green. I feel like I live beside a traffic light. Oh, and while we're on the topic, that train you have so appropriately positioned under the tree. If I hear ‘whoo, whoo', one more I'm gonna pitch it over the balcony."
Clinking their glasses together, Jim searched for the Mayor. "Where'd he go? Need a damn cow bell on the guy. You go have fun, Chief I'm gonna try to find him."
Leaving Blair to his "womanizing", Jim headed towards the piano. A large group of guests, including the Mayor, were gaily singing along to the tune of "Silent Night". Suddenly the Mayor raised his hands in a gesture of silence.
"May I have your attention please! One of Cascade's finest will be doing a solo performance for us all. Detective Ellison will be leading us in his rendition of ‘Jingle Bells'."
Jim could feel the heat in his cheeks. Stammering, Jim cleared his throat. "Really, sir...I...I couldn't. I mean you were all doing such a wonderful job."
Smiling the Mayor extended his hand towards Jim. "I insist, Detective. You now have our undivided attention."
Approaching the piano, an explosion of laughter sounded behind him. Jim proceeded to sing the longest song of his life. The room erupted with cheers at its completion. Jim hung his head and did his best to dissolve into the crowd. Clapping, Blair and the woman approached him. Handing him a festively wrapped jar of black olives, the woman smiled.
"Congratulations, Detective. You won the prize for best "sport" of the evening."
Taking the jar from the woman, Jim grinned. "I guess we're even."
Smiling, the woman gestured towards the tree. "Don't worry, there's presents for everyone." Walking away, the woman blew Blair a kiss.
Jim gave Blair a nudge. "So did you get a date?"
Shaking his head, Blair laughed. "Not exactly, my gift was a model airplane. There was a note attached to it."
Giving Blair a puzzled look, Jim shook his head. "What did it say?'
Biting his lip, Blair whispered. "Take a flying leap. She's the Mayor's daughter Jim."
The End